Friday, May 30, 2008

Doing the best that I can...

That is my six word memoir for today. I was tagged by Terri (Middle-of-the-Pack Girl) to find six words that describe my life. This was actually a difficult task. I am in a crossroads in my life as to how I see myself. I thought that running the marathon would make it more clear, but I haven't figured it out yet. I enjoyed the exercise of thinking about how I define myself and I came up with a few choices:
  • Successful career before starting family. happiness.
  • Created a family with my soulmate.
  • A mother. A wife. A runner. [this one doesn't really describe my life as much as it describes the past five months. I am consumed with running right now because of this marathon, but I don't know if running will be part of my memoir this time next year....kwim?]
  • Getting the most out of life [I like this one, but I am not sure I am there yet. I think I could get even more out of life. I just need to push some of my negativity out. I should follow Terri's advice with this one. I need to nag at my hubby less and take things as they come instead of worrying about them. I hope this will be my memoir in a few years. I suppose this is my goal memoir. Is there such a thing?]

So I decided on "doing my best that I can." At first glance it seems like an excuse or a cop out phrase. But when I look at my life, I realize that in every phase of my life I have done my best without holding myself to insane, unreachable standards. Could I have done better? Yes. Would I have enjoyed myself as much? Not even close. So my best is what is best for me and my life... not what is best by other people's standards.

I was a really good student. Could I have been an outstanding student? Sure. In order to have been a better student, I would have had to give up on much of the social and extracurricular things that helped to make me what I am today. I had fantastic grades through graduate school while excelling at my job. However, I really had no life. A relationship crumbled and I remember barely having time to eat. My best, in that case, wasn't really the best for me.

I had a successful career. Could I have gone further and done more? You bet. But to do that I would have had to work longer hours, relocated to undesirable parts of the country and foregone spending quality time with my family. My career could have taken on a bigger role in my life, however something bigger and better came along--a wonderful husband and family.

I'm a good mother. Can I be a better mother? Of course, and I am figuring that one out every day. Some days I feel like a fantastic mother. Other days I feel like the worst mother in the world. I take it one day at a time. I know that I will never be one of those mothers who keep a perfect house, home school the kids and chair every event. But I will keep my kids clean and safe, read to them, engage them and help them with homework and be involved as much as I feel I have the energy to do.

Doing the best that I can doesn't mean being being satisfied with mediocrity. I need to constantly set my own reasonable standards higher and higher. There are definitely days when I am not doing the best that I can and I just need to do better the next day. Luckily, I am pretty good at recognizing my faults and making adjustments. Kenny's pretty good at recognizing these faults and suggesting adjustments...LOL.

So to relate all this to running.... on Sunday I will run the best race I can. No regrets. No excuses. If there is a next time, I will do even better. That's the way all this stuff works, right?

So now I am supposed to tag other blogs. Like Alissa, I don't have too many other running bloggers that I know who haven't already done this. I will tag my friends with non-running blogs, if they haven't already been tagged. So, Penny, Hilly and Bean-- you are officially tagged. I also challenge my friends who read this to sit down and think of their own memoirs. Laura, Lisa, Jen, Heather, Janet, Emma, Linda....do yourselves a favor and come up with six words. If you are inspired, e-mail it to me or post it here. I am interested to see what you all have to say...

the rules:
Write your own six word (max) memoir.
Post it on your blog (or e-mail) and include a visual illustration if you want.
Link to the person who tagged you in your post.
Tag at least five more blogs.
Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

2 comments:

tgorourke said...

Lisa, I have been meaning to comment on this for a few days. All you can do is try your best. My mom used to say that to me all the time, and damnit, she was right (and has been more times than I'd like to let on!) Not that it matters, of course, but I think you did an awesome job on this and on Sunday.

Lisa said...

thanks, Terri! Thinking about my performance on Sunday it WAS the best that I could do.

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