Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I want my mojo back...

It is a good thing that I didn't take up running this month because I don't think I would have stuck with it. I am getting out for runs (albeit very few of them) because I think I should rather because I really want to. I am afraid of losing my running completely, so I am running. Running has been my escape and my "me" time. But not lately. Where did my love of running go?? Where is that runner's high??

I went out for a run on Monday*. I was going to get up early, but slept in**. I didn't get down to the the bay/beach until 9 a.m. Thankfully, our weather has cooled off considerably. It would have been even nicer a couple of hours earlier. I was hoping to have a great run. Maybe my expectations were too high. It wasn't as though it was a bad run. In fact, my pace was pretty good--9:06 average. I ran the fourth mile in 8:06 and the two miles after that under 9 minutes. The rest were closer to 9:30. Those splits should make me happy. I was hoping to have an effortless run. Do those even exist?

I think that since I am only getting one real quality run a week, I am trying to put too much into it. I think I would have had more fun if I would have just run a nice easy pace. Why do I insist on going so much faster than my training pace and throwing in tempo miles and feeling spent? Next week I really need to slow down and enjoy myself.

There are a few things going on that are affecting my runs. Actually, my lack of runs might be affecting those things. It is like the chicken and the egg. I haven't been eating well. The more I run, the better I eat. But the crappier I eat, the less I want to run. See the cycle? It doesn't help that I am not making "grown up" food for dinner. Most of the time, I make something for the kids that I know they'll eat and I just snack. Also, I am getting back into a dangerous soda habit. When I am running four or five days a week, I don't drink (much) soda. These days, I'm drinking way too much. So am I having crappy runs because I am eating/drinking crap? Or am I eating/drinking crap because of a lack of quality runs?

Unfortunately, right now I can't increase the amount of time spent running due to the fact that my husband is working two hours away. One quality run a week is all I can really count on. I can usually squeeze in a second run during the week. That should be tomorrow, but I have a garage sale to get ready for and a potential renter coming to look at my house. I need my precious hours without the kids to get stuff done.

I want to get some fun back into my running. So until I move north and establish a new routine, I am going to slow down and enjoy San Diego. Several of my friends have asked about group runs. I stopped doing them after we stopped training for the half marathon. I really enjoyed them as I know the other women did. I am going to try to set something up for this weekend. It will accomplish a couple of goals: spend quality time with my friends, make sure I get up and out early (before it gets hot) and slow down and relax while running.

Once we move*** I will start training for a race. I have a November half marathon where I am pacing a friend and the Ragnar relay in February. I am also seriously considering P.F. Chang's Rock-N-Roll Arizona in January, Carlsbad Half Marathon in January and Surf City Half Marathon in February. Training for a race gives me focus. Maybe some focus is what I need right now.

*I didn't go for my normal Sunday run because it was my son's 6th birthday and I love being there when he wakes up. It is so exciting to wake up and be a year older!
**The birthday celebration the evening before took it out of me.
***I wish I knew when that will be. We are trying to rent out our house and minimize paying double. Living in limbo is tough.


Unknown said...

It can be difficult to tell what is the cause and what is the effect, but it sounds like you need a break. So just go with it. Running will be back - probably once you get moved and settled in.

Unknown said...

I always get in a running funk when I'm not training for anything. And I totally know what you mean about the eating/drinking/running viscious cycle. Could you try mixing in some other workouts like walks with your kids, biking, etc? Then maybe you would start to crave getting back out there to run.

MCM Mama said...

When you find your mojo, will you share it with me?

Give yourself a break! You've got a lot going on. Life will hopefully settle down for you guys quickly.

Aron said...

hang in there, you will find it!! you have a lot going on right now, so make sure to cut yourself a little slack every so often :)

Irish Cream said...

I think sometimes it's tough to have the motivation to run if you don't have any big goal races on the horizon. That, combined with the fact that you have so much going on in life right now, makes it tough to have any kind of mojo. I think running easy is the way to go for now . . . get out there when you can, and try to enjoy a little zen running without a watch or garmin ;)

Terri said...

I've been going through the same thing, and I did what Irish said above - I've just been running "easy." It feels like a cop out in a way but it's about all i can manage. With everything going on at work and the constant stress there, it's been very hard to be motivated. I think Irish's comment really hit the nail on the head.

Good luck getting the house rented!

Marathonman101108 said...

BIG hug for you, Lisa! It will all work out. Yup, Irish says it well. Do what you can, when you can, and don't worry about losing your mojo. It will always be with you, and when your life gets more stable and you can devote more time to running, it will return. Don't worry about being a speedster when you do run. Go out, have fun, enjoy the scenery, listen to your tunes, and remember how fortunate you are that you have a wonderful family and are able to run. :-) Things happen for a reason. Once you get over this small bump in the road, you'll be fine. Looking forward to your future posts.


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