I started out the run composing a blog post in my head that was very whiny. My working title during those first miles was "falling apart.**" I was in that fog of negativity for the first third of the run. I finally turned on some music (Laura had pulled ahead of me) and focused on where I was running. I was running along the Pacific Ocean***, for crying out loud. It was a clear 50 degree morning- perfect for running. How can anyone focus on negativity running in that environment??
As I ran by Wind and Sea Beach, I thought about my favorite family pictures taken there a few years ago. What wonderful family memories we have. Despite the rough times that we are going through, I am so blessed to have such a great family. I have two fantastic kids and a great guy whom I love and loves me back. We are all healthy and happy.
As I was dodging tourists by the seal beach, I reflected on how lucky I am to live here. There were two busloads of people admiring a beach (and the seals lounging on it) that I get to run by on a random weekend run. Later, on the way back in Pacific Beach, I slowed down so I would not run into a tourist or two (or six!) meandering along the boardwalk before or after enjoying a nice surfside breakfast.
The final turning point for my mood came when this song came on, right around the turn-around point. Not only does it have the perfect running beat, but the lyrics are fun. I was practically punching the air while it was playing. How can you hear this song without moving?? I played it three times!! *blush*
After that song, I didn't care that Laura was running faster than me. While earlier I had felt a little pang of competitive letdown when I saw her pulling away from me, during the last seven miles or so, I started to feel proud of myself for being able to run my own run. I knew that I wanted to take it easy and keep my pace closer to 10-minute miles today. Once I let it go, I relaxes and my run became even more enjoyable. I knew I was running smart and wouldn't have a repeat of last week. When she first started pulling away, around mile 5 or 6, I felt bad for not keeping up. I was late and, to add insult to injury, I was holding her back. By mile 9, I knew that we were both running the way we wanted to run.
It was actually nice not having my Garmin. While I would like to know my splits, I didn't obsess over my pace and settled into a nice, comfortable run. The difference between today and last Sunday is huge. It is so nice to know that those runs happen and they aren't the end of the world. The question is... am I ready to do eighteen next week????
*Laura ran hers at an average of 9:31 and I was a bit behind her.
**A few things prompted my whiny feeling this morning:
- I forgot (despite having conversations about it) about the time change and woke up an hour late. After discovering this I rushed around and was still almost 40 minutes late meeting Laura. I was feeling like that "flaky friend" that everyone has. I hate being the flaky one (and it has been happening a lot more often lately)!
- I am training for a race that I can't afford to enter. There is no way I can justify the entry fee. Why is it again that we PAY to run? My birthday is coming up... maybe I'll hint around that running a marathon is what I really want. ;-)
- My hubby has been unemployed for seven weeks with no real nibbles. It is time for me to buckle down and start looking seriously as well. It breaks my heart since my son is starting Kindergarten and I just took a tour of the school and saw how many parents help out. It is something that I always wanted to do, but won't be able to do if I am working full time.
- My blogger friend, Alissa, just lost her job. I feel terrible for her. Also, for some reason, reading her news made my situation seem that much more real. It seems like the economy is getting worse and worse, which doesn't make one hopeful on the job front.
- I am overwhelmed by all the stuff going on in my life. For example, I desperately NEED to find insurance for our family. There are so many options and I am getting paralysis of analysis. Instead of buckling down and finishing my research, I am writing a blog post, checking facebook etc.
***We ran from South Mission Beach north to La Jolla Cove.
11 comments:
I am sorry you have so many stresses in your life right now, but I am also truly glad that running can bring a little bit of a respite to that. I wish you luck (and your hubby) in finding employment/insurance/assistance in this time.
don't you love how a good run and really turn you around mentally? great job on the long run, and yes, you are fortunate to have a beach/ocean nearby....as one who lives in Kansas, I constantly wish there was a beach within a days drive...love the family pics too...hang in there through these tough times
Hi Lisa!
I wonder if your 13 followers would be willing to sponsor you for your marathon run? I'm willing to kick in $10 towards your marathon fee, and even provide a "sponsored by" marathon shirt for you! Just a thought...AS I said in Laura's blog, I truly believe that things happen for a reason. Even in this tough economy, there is a job out there somewhere just waiting for your husband. Keep on kicking ass in the marathon training, and good luck with jobs and insurance.
Those are great family pictures!
do not beat yourself up for having the paralysis analysis - my god, I got that for finding a hotel to stay at in d.c. for a conference in a few weeks (I mean, talk about stupid!)
I am sorry to hear about Kenny's job search, and that you have to look at going back now too. I can imagine the stress you are going through.
Does it make you feel any better to know you're my hero for training for a second marathon? I couldn't even think about doing that again right now.
For having so much on your plate, you are incredibly strong! Lisa, you're an inspiration to us all!!!
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that things begin to change!!
Yay for a great run!
Sorry for all the stresses in your life right now. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the job thing works out quickly for your husband or that you find the absolutely perfect job that allows you the flexibility to spend time at your son's school.
I'm happy that you have such a good run, I love those days! And those are some spectacular pictures with your family, looks like a beautiful place!
I keep reading on everyone's blog how they keep getting affected by the economy and it worries me, hope that things get better for you soon!
Lisa, I knew that something had happened with your hubbies job, I didn't realize he was laid off. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how stressful that must be. I am just so thankful we don't have kids yet and Joe's work is stable and provides our insurance. I'm praying for you and your family. You are right, its funny how hearing about other people you know being affected by this economy seems to magnify it.
Aren't you glad running is pretty much free?! I guess the best things in life are :) Keep it up, and use those runs to let your mind wander.
And I'm in for $10 bucks to sponsor your run! I think Marathonman1101108 has a good idea!!!
Lisa, I love that despite all of the stressors you're dealing with, you are still so grateful for the things you do have. It's a tough environment to retain that kind of perspective in. In fact, your post gave me a little perspective myself--So thank you!
Glad the run ended on a positive note . . . and best of luck sorting everything out. We're all rooting for you! :)
Finally, I agree with Marathonman!! I'd be happy to throw in $10 towards your marathon as well! :)
Hugs Lisa.
I'm glad you have somewhere to run though to clear your head.
A woman jogger was attacked last week in broad daylight at the park I generally run in, so no more of that for me and a trip to the beach is 40 mins away.
Hope things start looking up for Kenny on the job front and you get to stay a SAHM
Hugs
Your run sounds great. I like how you let your friend go and ran your own pace. It hurts my pride a little when that happens (very often!), but I'll try to keep in mind what you said. I don't want to hold my faster friends back and I have to run smart and not kill myself trying to run a pace that's not me.
Post a Comment