I started out the run composing a blog post in my head that was very whiny. My working title during those first miles was "falling apart.**" I was in that fog of negativity for the first third of the run. I finally turned on some music (Laura had pulled ahead of me) and focused on where I was running. I was running along the Pacific Ocean***, for crying out loud. It was a clear 50 degree morning- perfect for running. How can anyone focus on negativity running in that environment??
As I ran by Wind and Sea Beach, I thought about my favorite family pictures taken there a few years ago. What wonderful family memories we have. Despite the rough times that we are going through, I am so blessed to have such a great family. I have two fantastic kids and a great guy whom I love and loves me back. We are all healthy and happy.
As I was dodging tourists by the seal beach, I reflected on how lucky I am to live here. There were two busloads of people admiring a beach (and the seals lounging on it) that I get to run by on a random weekend run. Later, on the way back in Pacific Beach, I slowed down so I would not run into a tourist or two (or six!) meandering along the boardwalk before or after enjoying a nice surfside breakfast.
The final turning point for my mood came when this song came on, right around the turn-around point. Not only does it have the perfect running beat, but the lyrics are fun. I was practically punching the air while it was playing. How can you hear this song without moving?? I played it three times!! *blush*
After that song, I didn't care that Laura was running faster than me. While earlier I had felt a little pang of competitive letdown when I saw her pulling away from me, during the last seven miles or so, I started to feel proud of myself for being able to run my own run. I knew that I wanted to take it easy and keep my pace closer to 10-minute miles today. Once I let it go, I relaxes and my run became even more enjoyable. I knew I was running smart and wouldn't have a repeat of last week. When she first started pulling away, around mile 5 or 6, I felt bad for not keeping up. I was late and, to add insult to injury, I was holding her back. By mile 9, I knew that we were both running the way we wanted to run.
It was actually nice not having my Garmin. While I would like to know my splits, I didn't obsess over my pace and settled into a nice, comfortable run. The difference between today and last Sunday is huge. It is so nice to know that those runs happen and they aren't the end of the world. The question is... am I ready to do eighteen next week????
*Laura ran hers at an average of 9:31 and I was a bit behind her.
**A few things prompted my whiny feeling this morning:
- I forgot (despite having conversations about it) about the time change and woke up an hour late. After discovering this I rushed around and was still almost 40 minutes late meeting Laura. I was feeling like that "flaky friend" that everyone has. I hate being the flaky one (and it has been happening a lot more often lately)!
- I am training for a race that I can't afford to enter. There is no way I can justify the entry fee. Why is it again that we PAY to run? My birthday is coming up... maybe I'll hint around that running a marathon is what I really want. ;-)
- My hubby has been unemployed for seven weeks with no real nibbles. It is time for me to buckle down and start looking seriously as well. It breaks my heart since my son is starting Kindergarten and I just took a tour of the school and saw how many parents help out. It is something that I always wanted to do, but won't be able to do if I am working full time.
- My blogger friend, Alissa, just lost her job. I feel terrible for her. Also, for some reason, reading her news made my situation seem that much more real. It seems like the economy is getting worse and worse, which doesn't make one hopeful on the job front.
- I am overwhelmed by all the stuff going on in my life. For example, I desperately NEED to find insurance for our family. There are so many options and I am getting paralysis of analysis. Instead of buckling down and finishing my research, I am writing a blog post, checking facebook etc.
***We ran from South Mission Beach north to La Jolla Cove.